You never know when to walk away until you realize it should have been a long time ago.
That doesn’t mean its too late, it doesn’t mean there is no solution. It just means you wanted something badly enough to suffer for it.
And really, There is nothing more beautiful that the desire to preserve something.
Just don’t let tradition sit in the way of progress.
It doesn’t matter what you say to a person. If they want to break your heart, they will.
Lovers be hating
Friends be snaking
Families breaking
Workers slacking
No one will admit it but we all break our word, even if we don’t mean to.
SORRY ABOUT THAT.
Laps of judgement and a bit if heart break will turn a girl crazy.
But luckily I have some amazing people surrounding me, supporting me and I’m back to being my self.
I’m happy.
Really happy actually.
I have a career, amazing friends and family and I have marshmallow fluff to cheer me up if I have a down day.
Love life, and love the people who love you back. They are irreplaceable!
I feel betrayed.
I feel like Ive wasted all my energy planning my future with you when you were only ever thinking short term.
It’s okay if you’re not ready for what we had - but you shouldn’t have told me you were.
You shouldn’t have made any of the promises and you certainly never should have said forever because you didn’t mean it.
I know I’m gonna move on and I know I’m going to find someone who is truely worthy of my love. I also know that unless you have a long look at yourself and sort it out you’re going to be a very lonely person.
The single life isn’t for me, I hate one night stands and am awful with a hangover! I just want someone who I can lean on in my bad times and someone I can hold up in theirs.
Forgiveness is something that is truly amazing, and until recently I thought just getting over it was good enough but now I know that to forgive you really have to understand why in the first place. And I am now at a stage where I’ve experienced enough hurt pain and mistakes to know that some bodies personal mental state will make them act out of character.
Basically I am very lost right now, I know I’ll find my way but getting there is going to be tough. I can’t even write a post and keep it on the same wave length. Exactly like my train of thought, a wreck and all over the place.
But I’m already getting better, I can see what is truly for the best even if I’m not ready to admit it yet.
Apparently anyway..
To me pain is know who you want, trying so hard to be what they want and failing.
I’ve recently lost the most important person in my life and I am genuinely heartbroken, I can actually feel the pain so physically. It hurts.
I know that it’s for the best though as to him it isn’t a hard thing to leave, to him it is so easy to walk away.
I’m someone who puts my whole self into everything I do, I suppose there is only so long you can do that for.
It kills me to think I’m not going to wake up to him, it kills me that I can’t say ‘yeah him over there, that’s my man’ I’m gonna miss the good days and actually I’m even gonna miss the bad ones. I’d rather be unhappy with him than unhappy without.
I’ve never really experienced heartbreak or loss until I met him. I was always the heartbreaker and I guess it was just my time.
I don’t know how I’m gonna watch the program’s we watched or go to the places we went but I am going to do it.
I’m going to be strong because I am worth more than a night out and a hangover.
This choice should have been simple and it should have been me - but I guess that’s just my opinion.
I can safely say I won’t ever give my whole self to anyone again, I will never be that vulnerable.
The really sad thing is, in a day, week or even a month he is going to turn around and realise that he has lost someone who gave him the world. And I hope when that time comes I can be strong enough to say no I don’t need you, I don’t need anyone and i will not allow you to chip away at my happiness anymore.
The pathetic thing is that if he turns around and told me he loved me and he was sorry I would drop everything and forgive all, and that’s a lot to forgive.
I just want to be happy, and I want him to be happy, I’m just so sorry that I wasn’t what made him happy.